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Printed in the European Union
Interpreting Relationships the Chinese Way
Take care to get what you like
or you will be forced to like what you get
George B. Shaw
To all who prefer to truly live
instead of simply survive.
Why an Interpreter Can Be Helpful!
A Little Story About Yin and Yang
The Five Elements
The Five Elements and Personality Types
It’s All About the Mix
The Journey of a 1000 Miles Begins!
The Wood Type
Spring – Wood Time / The Wood Body – a Spring Roll
Three Friends We Are: Aggression, Movement and Space
From Motion to Emotion
The Wood-Plus Type
The Wood-Minus Type
Complaints and Problems of Wood Types
Exercise
Diet
Mental Focus
The Wood Type in a Relationship
The Wood Type at Work
The Fire Type
Summer – Fire Time / The Fire Body – a Firework
The Show Must Go On: Openness, Enthusiasm and an Emotional Rollercoaster
The Meaning of Joy and Sensuality
The Fire-Plus Type
The Fire-Minus Type
Complaints and Problems of Fire Types
Exercise
Diet
Mental Focus
The Fire Type in a Relationship
The Fire Type at Work
The Earth Type
Late Summer – Earth Time / The Earth Body – Earthy and Stable
The Centre as the Mother of Cosiness
A Ravenous Appetite, Curiosity and Digesting It All…
The Earth-Plus Type
The Earth-Minus Type
Complaints and Problems of Earth Types
Exercise
Diet
Mental Focus
The Earth Type in a Relationship
The Earth Type At Work
The Metal Type
Autumn – Metal Time / The Metal Body – a Metallic Sculpture
Building a Castle: Protection, Withdrawal, Concentration, Peace and Quiet
The Tragedy of Hanging On, Letting Go and the Consequences Thereof…
The Metal-Plus Type
The Metal-Minus Type
Complaints and Problems of Metal Types
Exercise
Diet
Mental Focus
The Metal Type in a Relationship
The Metal Type at Work
The Water Type
Winter – Water Time / The Water Body – Eluding Comprehension
Still Waters Run Deep
Constant Dripping Wears the Stone
The Water-Plus Type
The Water-Minus Type
Complaints and Problems of Water Types
Exercise
Diet
Mental Focus
The Water Type in a Relationship
The Water Type at Work
The Relationship Cabaret. Or: Who with Whom!
The Yin/Yang Symbol
Yin and Yang Mutually Depend on Each Other
Yin and Yang Are Never Absolutes
Yin and Yang Are in Constant Change
Each Pole Also Contains its Counter Pole
The Five Elements and Their Cycles
The Nourishing Cycle
The Controlling Cycle
Qualities of the Five Elements
Thank you…
‘Good morning!’ crows the rooster – and by opening our eyes we are not just facing a new day but also the huge network of relationships our lives are embedded in. As human beings we are in a relationship with something in each and every moment of our existence, no matter whether we are aware of this or not. No matter whether you are single, a passionate lover or the parent of seven children. No matter whether you are the managing director of a big company, a person of leisure or unemployed. No matter whether you are 85 and contentedly resting on your pension-pillow or 17 and trying to unhinge the planet. Relationships determine our lives. We are in a relationship with ourselves, with our fellow human beings, our job, our flat, our computer (I hope it is an Apple), our car, our diet, our bank account, we are in a relationship with music, television, sport, sex, books, tooth brushes, underwear, stamp collections, condoms, dishwashers, jelly babies, hair restorers, the internet – we are in a relationship with the past, the present and the future.
The crucial question about this whole relationship palaver is as follows: Do the relationships we cultivate have a positive and inspiring effect on our lives? Do they give us strength, energy and motivation? Or do they slowly but surely drain us? Do they crush and restrain us? Do they turn the blossoming tree that could be our full potential into a puny little bonsai, only the shape of which resembles what we actually could be?
Of course we are trying very hard. Of course we leave nothing undone. We follow lifestyle trends and dietary advice. We do Nordic walking and Brazilian dancing. We get Japanese massage and eat Indian food. We seek our dream partner through online dating services and in our heads we are seeking our dream job. After all, all we want is to be as happy, content, full of vitality, and in as a good shape as the commercials promise us and reality denies us. While we are striving to optimise the network of our relationships we have to realise that this is not an easy job, and its rules often quite elusive.
Why does your neighbour lose ten pounds with the same diet, which has your scales showing the same weight as two months ago and with a persistence worthy of Mahatma Gandhi? Why does your neighbour succeed in regularly motivating himself for a morning run while you regularly fail in your attempts to crawl out of bed before eight o’clock? Why does one person feel as happy as Larry in a challenging 17-hour job while someone else thrives on calmly and sedately doing data entry less than five hours a day? Why can you relax listening to classical music while your neighbour needs full-blast punk rock in order to feel well? Why does Mr X constantly need to have people around him in his free time while Miss Y is happy when she can lock the front door after work and switch off her mobile? Why are you content with a partner who is constantly going nineteen to the dozen while your neighbour definitely needs a person by her side who flows through life more calmly than the river the Buddha observed just before gaining enlightenment?
It would be presumptuous to claim that this book can provide answers to all these questions. It’s not even trying. All it wants to do is to be an interpreter who attempts to translate the incomprehensible, the Chinese whispers, in our network of relationships. It wants to encourage us to view from a different perspective the relationships we cultivate with our environment. A perspective that can help us to understand why we are the way we are and why some relationships – regardless whether it is the relationship with our partner, our job, our diet or our leisure time – are more beneficial for our general wellbeing than others. The book attempts to do this by drawing on an ancient wealth of empirical experience - Traditional Chinese Medicine, and in particular the system of the five elements, also referred to as the system of the five phases.
Traditional Chinese Medicine is based on an intense process of observation. The ancient Chinese assumed that all life-governing processes occur according to certain patterns and rhythms. And that these patterns and rhythms can be systematically organised. Both, the system of Yin and Yang and the system of the five elements have their origin in these observations. Since the ancient Chinese understood the basic principles underpinning these processes these systems allow us to understand and depict life processes not only in nature and human beings, but also in economy and politics. How about an example? Spring, and you certainly don’t need the wisdom of the ancient Chinese to understand this, is the season when nature unfolds most dynamically. At the beginning of their life cycle young plants develop and grow most intensely and quickly. During childhood, which one could refer to as the spring of the human life cycle, little people behave just like plants: they grow incredibly intensely and quickly. In case you have just fallen in love then you will be able to confirm that the time of a budding relationship is also its most intense. The ancient Chinese assigned spring, childhood and the first phase of a relationship to the wood element as the inherent dynamic of all these processes is similar. With all these processes it is important to consider that, if you want spring, children, and your relationship to flourish, you need sufficient light and water to prevent growth from stagnating. Plants need light and water to thrive. Children and a developing relationship need love and affection to blossom.
These analogies can be used to explain all aspects of life. There are people who carry within them much of the energy of spring. In Traditional Chinese Medicine we refer to such people as wood types. Wood types live their lives just like spring and have an intense and dynamic approach to life. They want to grow and need much freedom. They need much light and water so that their growth does not stagnate. In order to be happy and content wood types need a different diet, a different partner and different hobbies compared to, for example, earth types, who tend to be marooned in their comfort zones…
Based on insights of Traditional Chinese Medicine this book has humbly set itself the following aims: it would like to offer itself as an interpreter so that you can clearly understand the basic principles that are the driving force underpinning the network of your relationships, allowing you to use these principles positively and constructively for your personal growth. The book would like to invite you to go on a journey of discovery. It would like you to discover which element is most strongly expressed in your personality and how this element has subconsciously influenced your relationships – with yourself, your partner, your job, your leisure time. It would further like you to discover how you can express this element to its full potential; to discover which of your relationships are of benefit to you, and which you should perhaps avoid…
I should mention two things: Traditional Chinese Medicine has an empirical approach, in other words: the tips and advice you will find in this volume have been proven useful for every day living over thousands of years. But the system described here lacks a scientific base and is therefore no substitute for the competencies of either modern conventional medicine or psychology and psychotherapy. It simply wants to complement them and offer you tools so that you can playfully, yet effectively, optimise your everyday life and your relationships.
And: this book certainly does not see its role in being an accomplice for finding new pigeon-holes and templates for yourself and your life. Of course, there will be traits of a wood type in and among us. But every human being is a unique individual and represents a highly complex life form – and putting on the hat of the wood type as a way of finding a new definition of yourself is certainly not the intention of Traditional Chinese Medicine. This book will help you recognise tendencies within yourself and those around you, and to work with those tendencies. However, it is the intention of neither the author nor the ancient Chinese to reduce the complex tapestry of our being to five elements. Take from the book what you find helpful, have fun with it but make sure you don’t take this whole matter, or yourself, too seriously.
A good portion of humour, some self-irony and the willingness to experiment a little bit with yourself and your relationships will guarantee that this interpreter will be an enjoyable and entertaining travel companion.
The Way gave birth to the One;
The One gave birth to the Two;
The Two gave birth to the Three;
And the Three gave birth to the ten thousand things.
The ten thousand things
carry Yin on their backs
and wrap their arms around Yang.
Through the blending of the breath
they arrive at a state of harmony.
TAO TE CHING
Once upon a time. Once upon a time in ancient China there was a hill. There was a hill and the sun was shining onto it. One side of the hill was facing the sun. The other side was facing away from it. One side of the hill was enjoying light and warmth, the other side darkness and a cool atmosphere. The ancient Chinese were very astute in their observations and they noticed that life on the sunny side of the hill developed differently from that on the shady side, and therefore each side of the hill had its own qualities. That plants growing in the sun were different to those growing in the shade. And that it had an effect on the disposition of people whether they settled on the sunny or shady side of the hill. This roused the interest of the ancient Chinese. It appeared there was a connection between light and how people lived. Between warmth and way of life. Between cold and darkness and way of life.
This potential connection was fascinating, especially since figuring out life was a favourite hobby of the ancient Chinese. So they crossed their legs and sat down in the lotus position, contemplated their impressions, observed a little bit more, waited, analysed, took a break now and then to stretch their legs, and did some more reflecting. Days turned into nights and nights into days. The seasons came and went. And then, suddenly, there was a loud ‘bang’. The wise men retreated and behind closed doors they entered all the results into their computer – and out came the concept of Yin and Yang: a comprehensive theory aiming to explain the connections between, and processes of, nature and life. This theory was based on the idea that the universe is subject to constant change. This change, however, is not dependent on a creator or some specific cause. It is the result of an inner dynamic that occurs according to certain patterns.
This inner dynamic is determined by fundamental forces; fundamental forces such as day and night, summer and winter, warmth and cold, rain and dryness. These fundamental forces behave in a particular way not because they depend on external impulses or influences but because their position in the universe endowed them with particular traits which determine their behaviour. Based on their analyses, the ancient Chinese were able to demonstrate that the fundamental forces showed certain analogies. That night, being dark, cold and still, had an affinity with winter. That day, being light, was more like summer. The sun also seemed to fit to the coupled pair of day and summer – just like dryness and warmth. Since most people tend to be more active when it is light and pleasantly warm, activity was added to the list already containing day, summer, warmth, dryness and sun. Activity entails movement. A further study brought new insights: during day and summer energetic movement is more from the inside toward the outside. During the warm season, plants are striving from the earth towards heaven. The sap of the trees is drawn from the roots towards the periphery, where it nourishes leaves, flowers and fruits. On a warm summer’s day we humans find it easier to leave our houses than in deepest winter. The list, which had started with day and summer, was extended to include outward movement and orientation.
The Chinese further discovered that the fundamental forces dominating everyday life and natural rhythms could be reduced to two opposing, but mutually connected categories. One category tends towards sun and light, the other towards darkness and shade. The next step was to determine which of the two categories the phenomena of this world had an affinity with. No matter what – fire or water, chaos or order, love or hatred, flexible or rigid, man or woman, birth or death, rich or poor – everything found its place on one of two big lists. One list was white like the light, the other dark like the night. As homage to the hill, which had triggered all these profound thought processes the lists were headed ‘Yin’ and ‘Yang’ respectively. The Chinese character for Yin contains a hill in shade or under clouds. The Chinese character for Yang comprises diagonal rays of the sun or a flag fluttering in the wind.
But please don’t believe for one minute that compiling these lists was simply an act of mental masturbation. The observations made by the ancient Chinese had to stand the test of practical application. Here’s an example. The human head is on the list containing day, summer and warmth because it is the most active part of the human body. The eyes and the brain never rest and move faster than the heart, the lungs or the legs, which, in comparison, are quite sluggish, regardless how many miles they have just carried us. The legs were therefore added to the list with night, darkness and cold. In comparison to the legs the head is Yang. In comparison to the head the legs are Yin. The head, therefore, tends toward Yang symptoms while the feet tend toward Yin symptoms. The ancient Chinese certainly were right with this. How many people do you know who suffer from cold feet and a hot head? Exactly! And, of course, there is always the exception to prove the rule. However, life is too complex than to try comprehending it according to rigid laws. And even warm feet can be explained by means of the Yin/Yang principle. People with a greater affinity towards day, summer, warmth and activity will suffer from cold feet less frequently than someone dominated by the qualities of night, darkness and cold.
Thanks to the theory of Yin and Yang the ancient Chinese were able to establish the requirements of the human organism for a balanced existence. For example: in Traditional Chinese Medicine digestive problems can be caused by heat as well as by cold. While modern medicine tends to look at symptoms in a ‘one size fits all’ kind of way, Traditional Chinese Medicine always tries to look at a symptom in conjunction with a person’s individual idionsyncrasies. Thus some people will find their symptoms relieved by warmth and movement, while others need rest and cooling foods.
For millennia, Traditional Chinese Medicine has managed to support the health of the general populace with this simple approach and without having to resort to in-depth technical know-how and complicated apparatus. This view is also expressed in an ancient Chinese proverb ‘Looking after your health when you are already ill is like digging a well when you are already thirsty.’ In ancient China it was the physician’s task to support health rather than to cure illness. In some cases physicians were paid only as long as patients stayed healthy, since illness was a sign that the physicians had failed in their job. There was remuneration for health – but not for illness.
As basic as the concept of Yin and Yang may appear, its enormous empirical wisdom is proven by its efficacy and practical applicability. As long as Yin and Yang are in balance the human body is able to regenerate and is strong enough to ward off illness. However, once the balance tilts to one side or the other, weak points and areas open to attack start appearing. Let’s assume you are standing on the sunny side of the hill. You are active, fiery, and enjoy moving about. You are Yang. As long as you make sure you are getting enough sleep, rest and holidays you won’t have any problems with all your activities. Only if Yang becomes too dominant in your life will your body’s inherent harmony start ailing. In that case you will begin to become more and more active. Working late into the night. Foregoing the weekend. Holidays? Well, yes, that’s this weird place from where your colleagues are sending you postcards. Your body is screaming for a break but coffee, cigarettes and your strong will are driving you on. This hyperactivity starts giving you headaches. Next are palpitations and sleepless nights. You have forgotten about the Yin in your life. Your body and your spirit resemble a dried-out desert where it is all about survival. With all that stress you eventually lose the ground beneath your feet, stumble about and are caught by the gentle hands of a burn-out syndrome. The body is reclaiming its Yin phase. Had you gone to a Chinese medicine practitioner or a Shiatsu therapist, they would have tried to re-establish the balance of your system. They would have addressed the Yin areas of your body with needles or their hands, recommended foods with a Yin tendency and would have taught you calming body exercises as homework.
This example demonstrates that the Yin/Yang principle is not some exotic and incomprehensible philosophy. The Yin/Yang principle describes life processes that occur in Asia in exactly the same way as in Europe or America. If you don’t sleep enough you’ll get tired. Period. End of. If you are cold, warm yourself up. These are not oriental adages. This is life. The system of Yin and Yang is an invaluable tool to describe and highlight these connections – and to recognize them in ever finer nuances.
The world had a beginning,
Which can be considered the mother of the world.
Having attained the mother, in order to understand her children,
If you return and hold on to the mother, till the end of your life
you’ll suffer no harm.
Block up the holes;
Close the doors;
And till the end of your life you’ll not labour.
Open the holes;
Meddle in affairs;
And till the end of your life you’ll not be saved.
To perceive the small is called ‘discernment’.
To hold on to the pliant is called ‘strength’.
If you use the rays to return to the bright light,
You’ll not abandon your life to peril.
This is called Following the Constant.
TAO-TE-CHING
When teaching at the Hara Shiatsu School I am frequently asked about the difference between Yin/Yang and the five elements. This is a superfluous question as the five elements are nothing but a more finely-tuned subdivision of the Yin/Yang principle. They invest these primal polarities with more colour, more form. You can draw a tree with a pencil or with crayons. The tree remains a tree, whether it is monochrome or coloured. Colour has the advantage of showing the tree’s nuances more clearly. Colour allows us to recognize the tree more easily as a tree. Applying the five elements allows us to recognize the primal polarities of every day life more distinctly. This provides us with more leeway for our exploratory journey.
The ancient Chinese referred to winter as Yin and summer as Yang. In summer, Yang reaches its maximum expansion. The sun is at its zenith. We therefore talk about the great Yang. In spring, however, the sun is still on its way towards its peak. Nevertheless, its ascending tendency encourages us to be more active. It drives us out of our houses, it conjures a smile upon our faces. It makes us more open and communicative and inspires us to more movement and new ideas. The increasing strength of the light makes us more active and creative; it makes us Yang. Spring, like summer, has a Yang quality, although the Yang is not as mature. There is still potential for growth. We therefore refer to it as small Yang. It’s a similar scenario with autumn and winter. Before the sun reaches its maximum Yin state, when it will stick weakly and dimly to the horizon, the cool autumn days are a reminder that the warm time of year has handed in its return ticket, leaving us behind. Thus autumn represents small Yin, and winter great Yin.
The qualities of the primal polarities Yin and Yang respectively are simply broken down into more detail. They are subdivided into small Yin, great Yin, small Yang and great Yang. Walking has a greater affinity with small Yang, running with great Yang. Sitting has a greater affinity to small Yin, lying down to great Yin. Being quite partial to figurative speech the ancient Chinese tried to find an umbrella term for the newly established subcategories of Yin and Yang by determining the primary quality of each subcategory. Spring, the time of small Yang, is about growth, about expansion. Invigorated by the warming touch of the sun gardens, nature, and fields are exploding orgasmically. After the long hibernation during winter Yang is looking for a release valve to express itself. This process can be best observed in the rapid growth of plants, and so, without any further dilly-dallying, little Yang, or spring, was simply called ‘wood time’. In summer, under the influence of great Yang, nature seemed to be burning. Much light, much colour, much heat, much movement, much joy. Great Yang became the ‘fire time’. The deteriorating weather conditions of autumn led people to retreat to their houses, iron locks barring the doors. Little Yin became the metal season. In winter the whole country disappeared under a thick blanket of snow, everything was quiet and still like the water. Great Yin was therefore called water time. The hub, the still centre, around which this seasonal merry-go-round kept revolving, was referred to as earth season, belonging neither to Yin nor Yang.
The Yin/Yang principle and the five elements cannot be separated. They represent one system. But because of life’s infinite complexity we find it easier to work with the language of the five elements, as it is more visual and its imagery more easily recognizable in our everyday life. For this reason the five elements were chosen as the focus of this book. However, it is helpful to remember that both concepts are only a means for describing the processes governing our lives. They are not our lives per se. The Yin/Yang principle and the five elements are simply the result of a long process of observation. They clearly and succinctly describe the basic principles underlying the unfolding of all phenomena.
Everyone is invested with his/her individual nature – just like every plant and every animal. It is impossible to squeeze the unique nature of any living being into just one pigeon hole. When we are talking about personality types in this book it is not about categorizing or putting a stamp on someone‘s forehead. Rather it is about recognizing energetic tendencies as, despite the unique character of every human being, we all share certain likes and dislikes. We are a part of this planet and therefore the driving forces of the primal polarities of Yin and Yang are also reflected in us. Depending on origin, upbringing, social environment, and many other factors, Yin and Yang are arranged in a certain ratio, which represents the conflicting priorities that determine the rhythm of a person’s individual development. Some people tend to be quite active, while others tend to be rather more passive. No one, of course, is just active or just passive. We may be very active in certain areas of our lives but very passive in others. This is not about splitting hairs but about rough tendencies towards Yin or Yang. It is about tendencies towards the water, wood, fire, earth and metal element. And about how this tendency is expressed in a person’s behaviour, emotions, body, work or relationships.
For example, when we talk about a fire type this label is not intended as a limitation of someone’s individuality. After all, fire types are everywhere, in us, among us – all you have to do is walk down the street with open eyes. While fire types resemble one another in their behavioural patterns they are all a personality apart. Just as every summer is different – sometimes rainy, sometimes bone-dry. Sometimes hotter than a red-hot poker in love. Sometimes colder than a snowman’s broken heart. Sometimes long, sometimes short. Summer in the Arctic is different from summer in the Sahara, summer in the Caribbean different from summer in Spain. Nonetheless, we talk about THE summer – regardless of where on the planet. Summer is the umbrella term for a particular seasonal quality, which, in spite of its varying manifestations, shows a certain tendency, regardless whether in Canada, Kenya or Kazakhstan. ‘Fire type’ is the umbrella term for a person’s particular quality with a particular tendency – despite all its varying manifestations.
This individual quality is the driving force for our development, for our individual growth. Roses require different care from tulips. And tulips need different care from orchids if you would like them to blossom. As human beings we are striving towards blossoming, whether we are aware of this or not. Some people succeed in blossoming, others don’t. Why is that? Because when caring for the potential dormant within us we often proceed quite randomly. We may be carrying the seed of an orchid within us but transplant it to a cold and inhospitable climate, and then we are surprised that we look more like a wilted nettle than a beguiling tropical miracle flower. Conversely, we may be taking a Siberian fir to the Sahara if we don’t follow our inner voice but societal expectations and patterns from the past.
Working with the five elements can help us find out what kind of conditions we can benefit from in reaching our potential and allowing it to unfold. Depending on the element we have an affinity for, certain foods, sports, leisure activities, jobs or relationships will increase our energy levels and thus the level of our contentment. And good energy and a content attitude make it easier to confront the challenges of daily life. Indeed, they may even be the catalyst for transforming our everyday life so that it better suits our needs, rather than letting ourselves be swept through life by heaps of obligations and a bad conscience. The better we manage to turn into the individual flower we could be, the less attention we will need. Instead we can become the source of attention so that passers-by will enjoy the beauty and abundance of our magnificent flowers. It is up to each and every one of us to take a spade and a watering can and work on cultivating our flowers. The five elements provide teachings that are easy to understand and can be implemented straight away.
The five elements are a way of describing different types of energy. No one, however, is dominated by just one type of energy alone. While we carry all the different types of energy within us, in most cases only one type will become dominant in the course of our development. There are, of course, purebred fire types but usually we are a colourful mix of all elements. If someone is 60 per cent fire, 25 per cent wood, 7 per cent metal, 5 per cent earth and 3 per cent water, then the Yang qualities are dominant in this person. Fire, or great Yang, prevails so that activity, expressiveness and vitality will be of great importance in that person’s life; while accuracy and sticking to principles won’t exactly be their strong points. However, they will be a creative force, excellent entertainers and passionate lovers. If such persons, in the course of their career, get stuck in the accounts department, the potential strength of their true nature cannot unfold. Their fire will stagnate and its inherent potential won’t be sufficiently challenged. Their workplace will contribute little to make these persons flourish. It will therefore be necessary to strike a balance, creating spaces in their leisure time and in their relationships where their individual qualities can be expressed. Quickly nip to ballroom dancing after work, followed by a romantic dinner. Then on to a cool party. And to finish up a round of fantastic sex. At the weekend a trip out into nature. Enjoy yourself and have fun, and your fire will be happy.
But often we may feel too tired to gather our energy for such activities. The tiredness, however, is not the result of lacking energy, rather it is caused by our inherent potential feeling insufficiently challenged so that it has retired to a corner in a huff. Very likely the dormant strength and enthusiasm would come to the fore, if only there was someone who knew how to tickle them. That works best one step at a time. This book is intended as a guide for how to take these steps and get the ball rolling again.
Someone who is 50 per cent earth, 20 per cent metal, 15 per cent water, 10 per cent wood and 5 per cent fire is a Yin-dominant type. This person will probably feel quite happy in the accounts department. It is a strength of earth to be a keeper, to administrate. Metal likes working with figures. And water provides the necessary calm. In this case, an elaborate leisure programme is not required in order to keep the inherent energies entertained. The family assembled round the dinner table, a tasty meal, sitting together afterwards for a companionable chat – that’s just the ticket for that kind of person. Considering their personality, they appreciate calm, continuity and their material environment much more than restless activity and creative chaos. If such a person, through some coincidence, landed a job as a troubleshooter in a big advertising agency then this job, for which a fire-type would give his eye teeth, will make them deeply unhappy, since, due to their Yin tendency, they can’t handle stress and a hectic work environment. In order to adapt to this kind of fast-paced job they will resort to a poor diet and build up inner pressure in order to push themselves to a level that doesn’t suit their personality at all. After a day’s work, their system collapses and all they desire is a comfortable chair and a mindless TV programme. However, by taking the right steps, this state of run-down tiredness can be avoided. An earth type will have to take a different approach from a fire type – and also a different approach from a water, metal or wood type. There will be more detail on what is the right approach for each type in the chapters about the respective elements.
As we go through life we will time and again be confronted with situations that require specific solutions. For example, if we want to start a company this will require qualities that are rather Yang. It will require activity, courage, good planning, much enthusiasm and a purposeful implementation of ideas. We will need the strength of the wood and fire elements. If the enterprise is to be long-lived and we hope to make a good profit then we will also have to be on a good footing with our Yin aspects – or fill the relevant positions with Yin personalities. A Yang character is good at making money, and also good at spending it. A Yin character, on the other hand, is good at preserving. And they are also good business people. In ancient China even the highest affairs of state were conducted with consideration of the system of the five elements. A state can only endure when times of expansion are followed by a time of balance and integration. Yang and Yin have to be in balance. But let’s go back to our new company. During the founding phase we do not only have to push the company but also ourselves. With the system of the five elements we can specifically activate the energies of the wood and fire element if they are required for a particular project or a particular phase in our lives. Conversely, our partner and family will be glad when we return to the qualities of earth and metal once the company is up and running.
The five elements are not a science. Neither do they represent a psychological or a medical concept. They provide a tool kit from which we can choose the correct spanner for fine-tuning any aspect – be it physical, emotional or mental – of our system. Let’s not spend more time on explanations but start the fine-tuning without further ado.
At the beginning of each chapter the personality types representing the various elements will be described as ‘purebred’ models in exaggerated form. However, the reader is certainly not expected to identify with each behavioural trait in these characterisations. The goal is to establish tendencies and to find out why particular tendencies exist. For this reason the specific qualities of each of the five elements will be described in great detail and it will be explained why these qualities have become pronounced in a particular person. The background information provided is intended to help gain insight into one’s individual behaviour. Why am I always so irritable? Why do I put on weight so easily? Why am I always so insecure? The characteristic traits of each personality type are highlighted in the text. You will also find suggestions what you can do regarding diet, exercise and attitude in order to support the unfolding of your element, and what kind of problems can occur when its development is blocked. Of course, there will also be information how the various types behave in their relationships. Following the description of the relevant type you can find out who gets on with whom in the section ‘Relationship Cabaret’.
But let’s start our 1000-mile journey. Read about the personality types. Sift out which element you have the greatest affinity with. Experiment with the tips and advice given. Try to figure out which character types are present in your environment. Play with the qualities of the elements. Try to gauge the behaviour of certain types. Chat to someone in the pub whose element you think is in a good constellation with yourself. Observe what happens. And above all: don’t take the whole thing too seriously!
What is at rest is easy to hold;
What has not yet given a sign is easy to plan for;
The brittle is easily shattered;
The minute is easily scattered;
Act on it before it comes into being;
Order it before it turns into chaos.
A tree so big it takes both arms to surround
starts out as the tiniest shoot;
A nine-story terrace
rises up from the basket of dirt.
A high place, one thousand feet high
begins from under your feet.
Those who act on it ruin it.
Those who hold on to it lose it.
Therefore the Sage does not act,
And as a result, he doesn’t ruin things;
He does not hold on to things,
And as a result, he doesn’t lose things;
In people’s handling of affairs, they always ruin things
when they’re right at the point of completion.
Therefore we say, ‘If you’re as careful at the end
as you were at the beginning, you’ll have no failures.’
Therefore the Sage desires not to desire and doesn’t value goods
that are hard to obtain;
He learns not to learn and returns to what the masses pass by;
He could help all the things to be natural, yet he dare not to do it.
TAO-TE-CHING
If the legendary Marlboro man would ever ask anybody for advice, he would ask you. In your veins doesn’t flow blood but the essence of freedom and adventure! When you look up at the moon you are not suffused by a calm mystical power but by the nagging feeling that Neil Armstrong has been there before you. You feel equally bitter disappointment that a certain Christopher Columbus already discovered America. What to do with your unbridled zest for action? All 14 eight-thousanders have been climbed, the Gobi desert crossed on a tricycle, the Atlantic conquered in a pedal boat…what worthwhile activities are there left for someone who is constantly buzzing with energy? Who resembles a hypersensitive bomb with a motion sensor, except that you explode when there is no movement…
There is no doubt about it, yours is a life of action, or rather, action is your life! Just take a look at your diary…provided you are able to decipher the myriad of entries you will notice that your day begins with a sporty morning. Ahhh – morning! While for normal people morning conjures up sheer terror, and pulling the blanket above one’s head is seen as perfectly normal behaviour for that time of day, you are already donning your high-tech running shoes, ready to banish the horror from morning. Morning is your time of day and finding a cockerel crowing before you is as rare as hen’s teeth. Out into the darkness! 30 minutes of jogging at an ambitious pace, that’s the minimum requirement to keep your energies happy!
If you don’t go for a run you get grumpy. Anything will bug you - and it will be a bug in seven-league boots, which, instead of you, is trying to get fit for the next marathon. Your typical breakfast (eating, reading the newspaper, mentally going through your projects) is becoming a serious danger zone for anyone who has the weird and inexplicable ability to enjoy morning and to be happy even without exercise – and who has the cheek to demonstrate this ever so casually. Meanwhile the corners of your mouth have dropped so low they are fondling the floor. There is more tension in the air than during a secret tryst between Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. But the air is charged quite differently – rather like the air after a hot and muggy summer’s day. Thunder clouds are towering in the sky. Lightning is flashing through your nervous system. In an attempt to avoid the inherent potential for conflict in situations like these you are willing to have your breakfast on your way to work. Firstly, this also saves time, secondly it saves more time, and thirdly it saves even more time which, anyway, seems to constantly go walk-about, as if all your watches were ticking double the speed of everybody else’s. But of course you’ll never find the time to have your watch checked by a proper watchmaker. However, it suits your tense nature to feel slight pressure breathing down the back of your neck in everything you do. Sloth and idleness are for wimps, sissies and mollycoddles – all these people you never had and never will have time for…
Once you’ve arrived at the office, you not only jump straight into action without batting an eyelid, you actually take the action into a chokehold so that it doesn’t even think of eluding you. Should you condescend to briefly interrupt your work flow at lunchtime, then it’s only for a quick game of squash, an important business lunch or to buy the next-generation mobile phone…Do we even have to mention that you tend to explode if your work pace is curtailed by external influences? What are considered external influences depends on the amount of wood element you carry. A cup of coffee not sweet enough can cause you to blow your fuse just the same as the hard drive of your computer crashing. Quick-tempered outbursts, loud and intense and without any prior warning – your colleagues call you irascible behind your back – are your way of giving your emotions a free run.
In situations like this objects at your workplace suddenly discover their ability to fly. Unfortunately, suitable objects are not always at hand. Your desk is like your office – chaos defying description: slips of paper, files, notes, and things which are neither slips of paper, files and notes but which find themselves where they shouldn’t be. The paperweight – that would have been just the thing but, damn it, where is it hiding? Your strength is in doing. In creating. Not in structure. Not in tidying up. You are full of energy. Full of an energy that wants to spread – in all directions, now, this moment. Chaos is the logical consequence, as is a constant dynamic.
Towards the end of the day you hoist all unfinished projects into your briefcase to take them home with you so that just in case of a second wind round midnight you are not empty-handed. Have we just mentioned knocking-off time? Then we have to mention two points. Firstly, when you talk about knocking-off time, the emphasis is on ‘time’, not on ‘knocking off’ – like with your colleagues who tend to leave the scene of their income at 5pm on the dot. Secondly, even though you are taking your projects home with you, did anyone say you are going straight home after work?
The gym, cinema, second job…there are several options to ensure that you will find your wife, including the kids (or husband including the kids, or your lover), asleep when you get home. Since you really struggle to decide on just one option you like to subscribe to your second job, the cinema and the gym in a triple pack. Having finally arrived at home, you gently wake your partner for some sporty sex – and that has less to do with fulfilling the duties of your relationship but is for the one and only purpose of eliminating the last dregs of pressure from your system…